A Birthmother’s Reflection: Emily

When I found out I was pregnant, I was twenty years old, living at home, and unemployed. An unplanned pregnancy was the last thing that I ever thought would happen to me, and I must have taken six pregnancy tests to be sure. I didn’t tell my parents right away because I knew that they would be upset with me, and I thought it would make the conversation easier if I had a plan in mind first.

Fortunately, I had a good friend who released two children for adoption through Adoption Associates some time ago. I told her about my situation, and she encouraged me in choosing adoption for my child. I soon met with Adoption Associates and another agency in town. After meeting with Adoption Associates I was convinced that they were the agency for me. They greeted me warmly, told me what my options were, and didn’t pressure me into making a decision. Unlike the other agency, they didn’t ask me a lot of questions or make me sign my name to anything. They accepted my situation—no questions asked—and didn’t judge me.

With my current life circumstances, I knew that adoption was the best choice for my baby. I had a strained relationship with my child’s birth father, and he was struggling to provide for his two other young children already. I wanted my child to have more.

I chose to plan adoption, and after I had made this decision, I told my parents. My mom had guessed that I was pregnant before my announcement, so she wasn’t very surprised. I was most terrified about my dad’s reaction, and I was worried he would be really disappointed in me. He was hurt, but once he knew that I was pregnant, he was also really supportive.

After reviewing agency profiles, I found the perfect parents for my child in the adoptive family I chose for him. I met them for the first time when I was six months pregnant, and I was able to get to know them during the rest of my pregnancy.

When I delivered my baby, my whole family came up to the hospital to support me, and the adoptive family spent a day with me and the baby. At the end of the hospital stay, I said good-bye to my baby. Leaving was the hardest part of my hospital stay, but it wasn’t more than I could handle.

I still stay in touch with the adoptive family through pictures and letters, and I can see how happy my baby is with his parents and his big brother. Today, I am confident that adoption was the right choice. In the fall of 2008, I plan to go back to school and earn a degree in social work so that, one day, I can help others as they have helped me.