I had only been going out with the birth father for a couple of months when I discovered I was pregnant. At the time, I was twenty-five and already the mother of two children, one of which has special needs. I knew that I was not financially or emotionally able or ready to parent another child, and I began to wonder what my other children would have to go without to have another child in our home.
I found out about AAI from a friend who had planned adoption for her child through them a couple of years ago. She had all good things to say about the agency and gave me their number.
The birth father and I chose adoption so our baby could have all of the things we were not able to give him and so another family could know the joy of being parents. My family tried to get me to change my mind a couple of times, and the birth father’s family was against it and they tried to change his mind, too. The birth father stood up to his family, though, and they finally realized that he’s a man and this was our decision.
The adoption process wasn’t easy, though. It was an emotional roller coaster for me, to say the least. The birth father, my children, and I handled it together and some days it really tested our relationship. Ultimately, though, it brought us closer together as a family.
After the adoption process began, we were able to choose the adoptive family for our baby. The family that we chose was young, had a strong religious background, and other biracial children in their family. I knew once we met them that they were the ones for our baby.
The hospital was the scariest part for me, not the labor or delivery, but the time after I delivered when I saw the baby and began to second-guess myself. I soon came to know, though, that I had made the right decision.
The birth father wasn’t ready to meet the family or go to the hospital, so we arranged a meeting with the adoptive family eight weeks later. He got to see the baby and meet the family, which really eased any doubts that he had.
We still receive pictures and letters from the family. We really love seeing how much the baby has grown and reading about all the new things that are happening in their lives.
Today, I feel secure and happy about our adoption decision. We are stronger as a family, and the birth father and I are planning to marry in 2007. I know that the baby is a blessing to his adoptive family, but the adoptive family is such a blessing to our family as well!
It’s important for me to share my story so that other women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy will know that they are not alone. I want them to know that there are many people out there that they can talk to. Adoption is a beautiful gift!