International Update
During 2011, 105 children were brought home to forever families.
My Take: The Benefits of Adopting an Older Child by Paula (an adoptive mother)
Springing out of their toddler days with mastery of walking and potty-training— most three-year-olds now have their sights set on exploring the world through imagination, language and play. Although 3‘s are developing more independence in the form of grabbing snacks for themselves, putting on their coats, and talking back, most would agree that 3’s are still considered “young children” and need significant looking after, guidance and discipline. They are a far cry from what we would consider an “older child”.
It hardly seems fair then that a three to four-year-old is considered “an older child” by adoption terms. Yes, in a perfect world, newborns would be placed in a loving home and begin life in the arms of their adoptive parents. Unfortunately, this is not always a reality.
Paula, who despite hearing numerous misconceptions about adopting an older child, still adopted three-year-old Dasha from Russia and discovered the joys and benefits an “older” child can bring.
In the words of Paula,
When I began my adoption journey, I built a library of misconceptions in my mind when I was researching attachment disorders on the internet. I kept hearing that toddlers have a terrible time bonding.
However, my consultant at AAI urged me to consider an older child. She said the wait would not be as long and a child can attach and bond when s/he receives loving care at the orphanage. I needed to hear this firsthand, so AAI put me in touch with a family who had recently adopted an older boy from Russia (3.5 years when he came home). I was amazed by the wonderful stories of the ease of transition that this boy’s mother shared with me.
My brother and I flew to Russia to meet a little girl named Dasha, who would soon be turning three. When she walked into the meeting room, she was interactive with her care giver. She paged through books and identified pictures of animals. She could carry toys while walking, hold a pen, climb up and down stairs alternating her feet. She was fully potty trained! Dasha’s development was right on track!
During my visit later in the day, Dasha brought a book over to me and crawled up on my lap. I could see that she liked to be held and touched. She made eye contact with me while we were together. My fears were put to rest.
I signed the paperwork to proceed with the adoption. The orphanage director and AAI Russian consultant assured me that Dasha would remain at the baby orphanage during the waiting time for court and final custody placement. Children often get moved to an older child orphanage if they have not been matched to a family when they turn three.
I anxiously returned to Russia after the court waiting period. The staff who had raised and loved this girl from a baby to a toddler, had prepared her for my arrival. They assured Dasha that her mama would love and take care of her. This incredibly brave little girl took me by the hand and led me down the stairs to leave the only home she had ever known.
Since her first night home, Dasha has slept peacefully in her own bed. Within three months of our lives together, I used barely any Russian words when talking to her. Dasha is silly and animated. When she speaks, she uses gestures and her eyes light up — just like they did in the orphanage. Dasha’s transition has been phenomenal because she was raised in a loving atmosphere by dedicated people.
I had a friend who video taped the day at the orphanage when Dasha and I became a family. My daughter and I love to snuggle and watch the video of ‘Dasha and Mama’. It includes the ladies at the orphanage hugging her and saying goodbye. As it turned out, with the advice of my consultant and intervention of God, an ‘older child’ became the most precious blessing a mother could ever pray for.
Paula’s “Positives” on adopting an older child:
- An older child can be an easier transition for the parents.
- An older child is able to understand more and responds to positive feedback.
- The adoption process is usually faster.
- It is easier to see where an older child is developmentally.
- Potty-trained!
- There are many, many older children available just as wonderful as Dasha!
- Mission-minded, it is the right thing to do!
Paula’s “Positive” advice for Prospective Parents:
- Really trust your heart.
- Talk to other parents who have adopted an older child from the same country. Your AAI caseworker can put you in touch with someone appropriate.
- Do research, but consider your sources. There is a lot of misinformation out there!
- Don’t try to diagnose problems in your child at the orphanage. If you utilize a doctor who specializes in international adoption, find out what information he/she wants you to gather about the child before you travel. When you meet your child, take notes, pictures and video (if permitted).
- Trust AAI. They partner with orphanages that have been carefully selected. The orphanages have care-givers who provide healthy, happy, well-cared for environments for our children.
- Pray about the situation.
- Again, trust AAI. Everyone has their heart and soul invested in matching children with forever families.
Journeys of Joy 2012
Highlights:
| Benefitting: | Older Waiting Children in Russia |
| When: | August 2012 |
| Where: | Toledo, OH |
| Purpose: | To give a small group of kids an exciting trip to the US and possibly a forever family |
| What’s Needed: | Travel funding and Mentor Families |
Adoption Associates and Friends of Russian Orphans (FORO) are teaming up once again to present Journeys of Joy, a summer hosting program for waiting children from Russia. The way that Adoption Associates contributes in the beginning stages is to help with fundraising to cover travel expenses. This experience is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for these children who have only known abandonment, rejection and loneliness in their short lives.
Not all people with a passion for adoption can adopt; but there are many other ways to make an impact. Please consider contributing to the Journeys of Joy Travel Fund to help support the several families who will become Mentor Families for this special program. Also spread the word about this wonderful program that has seen many happy adoption stories in the past! Eight out of the 9 children that came over last summer are in the process of being adopted (which Adoption Associates facilitated!) If you know of a family who would be interested in providing a happy, family-oriented experience for an older child and who may be open to adoption, point them to the FORO website (see contact info below). Any families within a short driving distance from Toledo, OH are welcome to learn more.
For more information:
Becoming a Mentor Family: contact Lisa Wurster at grigsby@bex.net or 419.841.6971
Making a donation: contact Jane Bareman at jbareman@adoptionassociates.net or 616.667.0677.
Mandarin Immersion Coming to West Michigan!
We are excited to share an opportunity that combines children, language, and culture. Zeeland Christian School plans to implement a Mandarin immersion program for the 2012-2013 academic year (if there is enough interest). Because of their prior experience with Spanish immersion, they know that many families who have adopted children internationally feel strongly about introducing them to their heritage culture. Currently in their Spanish immersion program they have adopted students enrolled who were born in Guatemala and Columbia. Their hope is that parents who have adopted from China and would like their children to become bilingual find a school home for their children at Zeeland Christian School.
Total language immersion is the most effective way to prepare bilingual students who are high academic achievers. Students become fluent while learning all their subjects in the target language: Mandarin Chinese.
Contact Nancy Pyle at npyle@zcs.org for more info or call 616.772.2609.
Learn more about immersion from the Zeeland Christian web site zcs.org or from their partner organization, add.a.lingua.
