Domestic Adoption
Home Sweet Home
For Sarah and Andy, there’s no place like home. Whether combining their musical talents, scrapbooking, gardening or cooking, these two most enjoy being where they can be themselves. When Andy and Sarah decided to begin a family through adoption four years ago, they knew they already treasured something that would be important to their future child, too: A comfortable, loving home.
As active members of their church—where Sarah runs the music program and her father is the pastor—the couple knew that their church would provide their future child with a home-away-from-home. “We both have very religious backgrounds, and so the church is something he’ll always have,” said Sarah, who now is mother to a baby boy born in December.
A Natural Choice
Even before choosing adoption for their own family, Sarah and Andy had long been around the adoption process. While two of Andy’s cousins were adopted, some of Sarah’s childhood friends had been adopted, too. Adoption was always something they’d had a heart for. “It was always in the back of my mind, even as a teenager, that if ever I couldn’t have kids, I would look to adoption,” says Sarah. After struggling with infertility, the couple decided, in the summer and fall of 2005, that “it just wasn’t going to happen. We turned to adoption,” says Sarah, “and in November of 2005, we filled out our first stack of paperwork.”
Both Andy and Sarah’s families were open to adoption, and so the couple was only left with one choice: Whether to adopt domestically or internationally. Since the ability to watch their child go through all of life’s stages was of utmost importance, the couple chose domestic adoption. “We wanted a baby from infancy,” says Andy, who today is a stay-at-home dad. “We wanted to be there through everything.” And the process began.
The Fourfold Wait Time
At the beginning of the adoption process, they were told to expect a wait time of 9-12 months. “We knew at the time that it was just an estimate,” says Sarah. “But we didn’t expect four years! We had a lot of fall-throughs.” While the first year was the most difficult, the waiting time was something they got used to after awhile the couple said. While they knew they could receive a call any day alerting them of a prospective birth mother who had chosen them, they worked hard to continue their daily activities. “We knew it would work out,” says Sarah. “We never blamed each other through the whole process—and even in the infertility, we never blamed each other.” The two also stood united in their faith in God—and moved forward.
Last May, Andy and Sarah thought they had finally met their child. After attending the birth, the couple held the baby in their arms for two days before the birth mother made a life-changing decision: She wanted to keep and raise her baby. “We were really starting to wonder what God’s plan was for us,” says Sarah.
About six months after, the couple received another call. This time, Sarah and Andy were able to play key roles in their future child’s life throughout the last month of the birth mother’s pregnancy. “Before he was born we went to the ultrasound appointments, and to dinner with the birth parents,” says Andy. “We became friends.” Just as they had hoped, Andy and Sarah were able to be a part of their son’s life from the very beginning. When the day came that their future son would be born, the couple made the anticipatory trip to the hospital. “Through all of the birth and delivery, they [the birth parents] were very gracious to us,” says Sarah.
Despite the hardships and multiple fall-throughs, Sarah and Andy say that their experiences have made them stronger people—and have led them to the son that was meant to be theirs. “When we are asked if it was worth everything, we say that having him now melts away everything that we’ve been through,” says Sarah. “It’s shaped who we are. And this is the baby we were meant to parent.”
A Baby Named Seth
Andy and Sarah decided on the name “Seth” when they started the adoption process four years ago. “We wanted a good, biblical name for our child and we thought the meaning (“appointed”) was appropriate,” says Andy.
Today, Andy and Sarah find themselves spending more time than ever just relaxing in their home with their young son. “Andy is a stay-at-home dad, and I’m an elementary school teacher. I tend to be a workaholic, but now that Seth is our son, I am home earlier than ever,” says Sarah. “Your priorities change when you become a parent, and you realize what’s important in life.”
Possibly the most important advice Andy and Sarah have for waiting families is to retain hope, and they live through example. Throughout the years of hardship and waiting, they always had faith that God had a plan for their lives. While Andy and Sarah feel very blessed to parent even one child, they hope to have the opportunity to grow their family through adoption again someday.
Andy and Sarah also encourage waiting families to jump into the adoption process with both feet and an open mind and heart. “We knew that we couldn’t hold back,” says Sarah. “If we did, we would have missed out on the experiences that brought our son into our family.”
For more information about AAI’s domestic adoption programs, visit our web site or call 1.616.667.0677
