International Adoption
One family's path to Ethiopia
When Nikki and Steve announced their wedding vows years ago, one thing was for sure: both bride and groom knew they wanted children. Yet as time went by—and as life would have it—they both soon learned that everything can’t be planned for. After struggling to add a son to their family through infertility treatments, the couple knew they didn’t want to undergo the distress of having another child by birth. Still, Nikki and Steve remained hopeful for a larger family, and in the spring of 2007, they realized that adoption was the missing link to their desire for a larger family.
The Church as a Compass
After taking the time to determine “what adoption would mean” for them, Nikki and Steve decided to adopt internationally. While reviewing countries and continents, Nikki says that they were very drawn to Africa.
“I think we were drawn to the continent of Africa partially because of our church—it was originally founded as an African-American church but is now very well-balanced and racially diverse,” says Nikki. “We felt we’d have support from our church family; and to bring a child home from another country is a huge responsibility. We decided that Ethiopia was the choice for us.”
Strength in a Difficult Wait
Although Adoption Associates began solely as Nikki and Steve’s home study agency, it eventually became their full placement agency, too, when difficulties arose in another agency. With the intention of adopting two children from Ethiopia, Steve and Nikki assumed the process of welcoming children home would be a bit of a challenge.
“The adoption process was probably the most difficult thing we’ve ever done in our lives. But before we began the process, we knew what God wanted us to do for our family, so we could take this challenge,” says Nikki. “Even though the process was difficult, we would do it all over again to have these children.”
Making the Wait Count
For Steve and Nikki, it took just over two years to bring home their son and daughter, whom they would name Eli and Hope. During the process, Steve read feverishly on Ethiopian culture, geography and tradition, so that by the time they made the trip to Ethiopia, “we felt like we were going somewhere that was somewhat familiar,” says Nikki. To keep her own life from getting stuck, Nikki says she read a lot of Scriptures. When a friend began suggesting appropriate Scriptures she had previously been unfamiliar with, Nikki says she found hope in prayer every day.
Boarding For Ethiopia
In November of 2009, the moment had arrived: It was time to travel to Ethiopia. Nikki, Steve and eight-year-old Geoffrey boarded a plane for Africa, traveling to a continent none had been to before. Just the week before, questions had arisen over whether or not the small family should fly to Ethiopia. But just as they had trusted God through everything, Nikki says their faith had not faltered.
By the end of their trip, Steve and Nikki—along with Geoffrey, a new three-year-old son and infant daughter—were ready to set for home.
New Names, Same Identities
Upon arrival in the U.S., Nikki and Steve called their new son and daughter by their Ethiopian names. Once their children had adjusted a little more to life in America, Steve and Nikki renamed them: Elijah and Hope. Eli and Hope kept their Ethiopian names as middle names, to maintain their identities, and were given the first names that Nikki and Steve had had picked throughout the entire adoption process.
“I think every parent wants to name their child,” says Nikki.
According to his parents, Elijah learned how to say his name just a few weeks ago.
Family Outside of Family
Now that the family of five can focus on becoming closer every day, the worries of the waiting process are just a memory. Each day, Nikki says Eli and Hope come more into their own personalities, and the family’s dynamic continues to expand.
“Eli is very curious about the outside world; and very charming,” says Nikki. “He wants to converse with everyone we meet, and he loves to dance and sing. Hope has got to be the happiest baby I’ve ever met. When she gets up in the morning, she’s smiling from ear to ear, and my son has named her ‘happy Hope-y.’”
At church, close friends have also embraced the family. From cultural things—such as training Nikki in Ethiopian cooking—to practical things—such as African skin care and hair care—Nikki says there has been no shortage of support.
Embracing Forever
Unfortunately, Nikki says many people she meets are naively insensitive to her expanded family. “The question we get asked most as a family is: ‘Are they really brother and sister?’ And I tell them: ‘Well, of course they are, and we’re their parents!’ Fortunately, the strangers that meet Steve and Nikki’s family will walk away a little more knowledgeable.
And through their adoption trials and triumphs, Nikki says her comfort lies in knowing she now has the family she was always meant to have.
“Remember that God has a child or children designed for your family, and that the turns you’re taking are to get you to that child,” says Nikki. “As things turned out, we knew God’s will for us. Sometimes it was Him literally picking us up and putting us on another path that took us to the children he picked for us.”
For More Information
To learn more about our Ethiopia adoption program, please visit our Ethiopia adoption page.
