Domestic Adoption
Growing a family through the domestic African-American program
When Kevin and Alison welcomed a son, Braden, into the world by birth a few years ago, they knew their hearts would soon be ready to love another. When the time came to consider expanding their family, though, they thought of adoption.
“We wanted to provide a loving home for a child who needed it,” says Alison.
The couple talked about the idea for a year before beginning to investigate, and after another year, they began the process.
Finding the Right Fit
Having never looked into adoption in-depth before, the couple first debated whether to adopt a child from across the globe or closer to home. Soon, Kevin and Alison realized that a domestic adoption would be the best choice for them.
“What really steered us away from international was the time spent in-country,” says Alison. “With a two year old, we just couldn’t justify being away for that long. There were a lot of expenses involved with travel, too.”
Their thoughts were confirmed when Kevin and Alison realized that there was also a need for adoptive families for children born in the U.S.
The couple’s initial reservations about a domestic adoption, many of which stemmed from stories they’d heard in the news, were soon eliminated.
“We saw these birth mothers and fathers that would come back for their children years later,” says Alison. “But we then learned the truth about adoption, and that this [act] is a rarity, and not the norm.”
An Agency and a Program
When searching for an agency, Alison and Kevin preferred one that was close to their home. The couple soon discovered that Adoption Associates, Inc. had an office nearby, and found the in-person meetings to be comforting.
“We were able to go to their [AAI’s] offices and sit down with someone,” says Alison. “Everything went very smoothly.”
Soon, the couple had to decide upon a program. When they learned more about the waiting lists for various programs, their choice was obvious.
“There were many couples on the list for a Caucasian adoption, but not as many for biracial or African-American,” says Alison. “We felt we were being led toward this because there was more of a need.” The couple signed up for the African-American domestic program, completed their home study, profiles, and paperwork and waited for the next step.
Into the Unknown
No one in either of Alison’s or Kevin’s families—nor any friends—had adopted before, and the two were unaware of what to expect. The anticipatory time spent waiting for a birth mother to choose them seemed long, but “looking back, it was actually very fast,” says Kevin.
After a few months of their profile being shown by the agency, Kevin and Alison were linked with a birth mother and met her for lunch.
“It was something we were nervous about because we weren’t sure how the conversation would go,” says Alison. “But things went very smoothly, and a lot of information was exchanged both ways.”
Shaken and Stirred
Seven months pregnant at the time of the lunch, the birth mother didn’t contact Alison or Kevin for another two months. As time continued, the couple grew worried.
“She didn’t return our calls or emails, and we thought, ‘What if she changed her mind?’” says Alison. “But looking back at our lunch meeting and thinking about her personality, it makes perfect sense. We’re okay with it now, but it was stressful at the time.”
In addition to support from the agency, family and friends from church supported Kevin and Alison during their wait, and in February of 2008—less than one year since the couple completed their paperwork—they received a phone call.
A New Daughter
Alison and Kevin arrived at the hospital for the birth of their daughter, Janae, and visited each day while she spent additional days at the hospital.
“We felt more like visitors then, and it wasn’t until we were able to take her home that it really sank in.”
Janae, whose first name was agreed upon by all, bore the middle name “Elizabeth,” in honor of her birth mother.
Proud Big Brother
While at the hospital, Alison and Kevin emailed photos of Janae to Braden, who was staying with his grandparents at the time.
“He printed them out and carried them everywhere he went,” says Alison. “He said to everyone, ‘This is my sister!’ before he’d even met her! And when we got home, there was no hug for Mom or Dad; it was just, “Where’s my sister?”
A Shining Light
Today, Janae’s outgoing and upbeat personality reaches everyone she meets.
“She says ‘hi’ to everyone, and she smiles more often than not,” says Alison.
Together, the family has dinners, attends church weekly, spends time in their newly-installed pool, and takes short vacations together.
Following the Heart
Both Kevin and Alison were raised in small towns without diversity, and when they chose to adopt through AAI’s African-American program, both were worried of their families’ reactions. Still, the couple felt they were being led in the direction of adopting through the African-American program, and kept their decision firm.
“You’ve got to go with your gut,” says Kevin.
The need to worry proved unnecessary; both Alison’s and Kevin’s families were extremely supportive. The concept of their adoption was soon welcomed with open arms.
“One story my mom shared was wondering how she would love Janae as much as her biological grandchild [Braden],” says Alison. “But the first time she saw Janae, that thought was erased. Janae has stolen my mom’s heart, and now Janae is ‘her girl.’”
A Grateful Family
With their questions answered every step of the way and ongoing support fueling their journey, Kevin and Alison say the road to adoption was “phenomenal.”
“We feel blessed having her in our family,” says Alison. “We are very pleased.”
For More Information
For more information about AAI’s domestic infant programs, call 1.800.677.2367.
There is currently an urgent need for families who are open to the adoption of an infant of full African-American heritage! Interested families are encouraged to learn more about this program by requesting an adoption information packet, attending an information meeting at one of our offices, or by calling 1.800.677.2367.
