Domestic Adoption
Pursuing domestic adoption a second time
Nearly seven years ago, Sue and Rick’s hearts were led to adoption. As a couple that enjoyed spending time together outside, at church activities and with friends and family, the two knew it was time to expand into a family. But when the time came to begin their paperwork, Sue and Rick weren’t planning on adopting domestically. It wasn’t until the first day of their home study that Sue’s mother called, telling them she had found their future son’s biological grandmother.
A Neighborly Network
Her neighbor worked with a woman whose daughter was pregnant, Sue’s mother explained, and this child would need an adoptive family. Although the couple had originally anticipated adopting internationally, this was an opportunity they couldn’t pass up.
“Networking is important!” says Sue. “We then had Adoption Associates handle all of the paperwork and the legal stuff.”
After having looked into several agencies, Sue and Rick both felt most comfortable with AAI, and knew that it was the agency for them.
Completing the Circle
After enjoying the infancy and toddlerhood of their son, Andrew, Sue and Rick felt their family still needed “rounding out,” and that another child would do that perfectly. Having looked into foster care and other things, Sue says the family prayed a lot to be open to whatever came their way. Deep down, however, adopting another child was their desire.
“I wanted a sibling for my son, and another child was something that never left my heart,” says Sue. “We were quite happy, but our circle wasn’t complete. I had the desire to parent another child.”
The Wait for a Sibling
Being older parents, Sue and Rick knew their wait for another child would be long. This time, they decided against an international adoption, due to the complications of traveling abroad with a young son. Over a period of 2 ½ years, several domestic birth mothers looked at their profile, but nothing happened. Finally, one day when the family was on vacation in Disneyworld, a call came.
Welcoming a Sister
Although their son was upset to be leaving Disneyworld, Sue and Rick explained to him that a sibling would soon arrive.
“We got the call from Adoption Associates at 4 (p.m.), and left the next morning at 6,” says Sue. “We went to Adoption Associates to complete some paperwork, then went to the hospital with no questions asked.”
Sue and Rick never met their daughter’s birth mother, and although their adoption experiences were quite different between Andrew and his sister, the family bonded immediately.
Ava Comes Home
Despite originally having wanted a puppy instead of a sibling, Sue says Andrew loved his sister almost immediately upon seeing her.
“When we were leaving the hospital, he said, ‘We’re rich now,’” says Sue.
Once she was home, Sue says both Andrew and his young sister, Ava, transitioned very well.
A First Year Together
With a little over one year having passed, Sue says every day she enjoys watching Ava change and grow.
“She has a lot of personality, and is very independent and stubborn,” she says. “She’s also very smiley and into everything. Our son is very cautious, and she’s petite but a bruiser!”
Life is a lot more hectic now, but it has become even more fun, too, says Sue.
“It’s fun to see how they’re the same and how they’re different,” she says. “We feel very blessed, and very lucky to have them. I know we have a lot to be grateful for.”
New Family Traditions
With the tough economic situation in Michigan, Rick works in Nebraska and comes home on the weekends. Still, the family has found ways to maximize time together and enjoy one another’s company.
“We enjoy going to church and are fairly active in it,” says Sue. “We travel a lot to see extended family members, and enjoy spending time with family and friends. I try to incorporate games and reading into daily life.”
Since becoming a stay-at-home mom, Sue has more time to devote to her family.
“We say a prayer every night, saying what we’re grateful for,” she says.
Conquering Fears
The relationship between Ava and Andrew has become very tightly woven over the past year, says Sue, and “She laughs like he’s the funniest guy she’s ever seen; and in reality, he is!”
To anyone contemplating the idea of adopting domestically, Sue says not to be afraid. With their first adoption, the higher degree of contact with the birth family wasn’t something they were expecting, but they handled it well.
“I was afraid of domestic adoption, because I was afraid of our relationship with birth mothers,” she says. “But don’t be one to live by your fears.”
For more information
For more information about domestic adoption, call Adoption Associates, Inc. at 616.667.0677.
