Domestic Adoption
Worth the wait
When Tim and Carol found out they couldn’t conceive almost five years ago, the couple turned to adoption to build their future family. After spending six months touching up and perfecting their profile, the couple was tired of waiting and ready for a child. When their first experience fell through, however, they felt discouraged—until a second birth mother calmed their fears and reassured them they were supposed to be parents to her child.
The path to Adoption
Almost five years ago, after finding out they couldn’t biologically have children, Tim and Carol decided adoption was the next step for their future family. As late-in-life parents, the two have done their share of waiting for a family.
“We naturally thought we would be able to have children on our own, and when that didn’t happen we quickly said, ‘We are going down a different path,’” said Carol. “And we wanted to adopt.”
Choosing an Agency
After Tim’s mother gave the couple a list of adoption agencies, the two began calling around and soon found Adoption Associates, Inc. (AAI) to be their best option. “The one thing that you want to know about Adoption Associates is that if you leave a message, they call you back right away,” said Tim. “I think Adoption Associates was definitely very responsive and did what they said they were going to do.”
Deciding on Domestic
Although a cousin in Tim’s family was adopted from Russia—and the family encouraged Tim and Carol to adopt internationally—the couple felt the required international traveling would be too much. Tim and Carol also knew that they wanted to adopt an infant, so they turned to the domestic program.
Preparing for a New Arrival
To increase their odds of being chosen by a birth mother, Carol and Tim spent almost six months adding finishing touches to their profile. With so many wonderful profiles online already, Carol said she knew theirs had to stand out. In the meantime, five of Tim’s family members were having babies, which Carol says added more pressure to create the best profile possible. But her confidence in the final product was visible in her purchases of onesies, a crib and everything in between.
“The minute our profile hit online in November of 2005, my nursery was ready,” said Carol. “I had my crib set up, my room decorated and everything ready to go!”
A Bump in the Road
In August of 2007, Carol and Tim had been chosen by a birth mother and made the trip to the hospital to meet the baby. The morning following the birth, however, they received a phone call. “She had decided to parent her baby,” said Carol, of the birth mother. “With that failed adoption, it devastated me but I wasn’t surprised by it. I understood that she wanted to parent her baby.”
Meant to be
Almost five months later, Carol and Tim received another phone call from AAI, alerting them of a birth mother who liked their profile. Any apprehension the couple felt from their prior experience, however, was immediately calmed upon meeting the new birth mother. “When we met with [her], the first thing she said when she walked into the room—she put her hands on her belly—and said, ‘The first thing I want you guys to know is this is your baby,’” said Carol. “It brought tears to both of our eyes.” When the birth mother revealed her date of conception as the same date as Tim and Carol’s anniversary, the three knew they were meant to find each other. Today, Tim and Carol couldn’t imagine it any other way. “I know we had to go through what we went through in August to get to where we are,” she said.
A Son at Last
Upon meeting the birth mother at the hospital, Tim and Carol were instantaneously calmed by the birth mother’s ecstasy in her decision and comforting attitude. “She made sure I had a wristband so I could get in and out of the nursery without having to ask anybody,” said Carol. “She wanted us to have that experience at the hospital. She wanted us to take over from day one, which was incredible.”
Admiration
Despite the potholes on their journey to a successful placement, Carol and Tim’s caseworker, Heidi Cole, says their attitudes were admirable. Throughout the entire waiting process, they were respectful and understanding, even though they were having a hard time with the wait,” she said. “Now, they are so happy with the little boy who ended up joining their family.”
Home, Sweet Home
Feelings of emptiness filled Carol as she dropped off the birth mother on the way home from the hospital, but Carol says she is reminded of the woman’s gift each time she looks at her son. “I feel that he’s where he belongs and this is what I’ve been waiting for the whole 26 months,” said Carol. “When we see him smile a certain way, we always think of his birth mother. We feel so lucky and blessed.” While Tim often cradles their son and tells him all the things they’ll do together someday, Carol says her emotions are overwhelming. “I thought I was going through postpartum for the first six weeks!” she said. “I was getting all teary-eyed and emotional every time I talked about him. But it’s because I’m just so overwhelmed with love and joy and peace in my heart. It’s so hard to express it, and I hope you understand it’s just the most incredible feeling in the world.”
For More Information
To learn more about domestic adoption, please visit our domestic adoption page.
