Affording Adoption
Funding Your Adoption through Donations
Gaylan and Roberta were already the parents of five biological children when God laid the desire to adopt upon their hearts. “I think that God softened my heart for adoption when I lost my mother at the age of 11 years old, therefore developing a heart for the orphan and their loss,” says Roberta. “I shared this desire with my husband, and we were in agreement. Then we shared this vision with our children, and we prayed many times about it as a family over several years.”
Deciding to Adopt
After considerable prayer and discussion, Gaylan and Roberta decided to pursue adopting a child, believing that this was in accordance with God’s will for their family. They called different agencies, and “AAI was the most helpful and service-oriented,” says Roberta. “We knew with five other children to take care of already that we didn’t have time to figure the adoption process out on our own. We needed someone who would be there to hold our hands through the adoption process and guide us step by step.”
Affording the Adoption
Yet, at the time they decided to seriously consider adoption, they were trying to raise their five children off of Gaylan’s blue collar salary. Finances were tight for their family, and they didn’t know where the money would come from to pay for an adoption.
“Throughout the years, we have shared with others our desire to adopt,” says Roberta. “Some told us to take out a loan or put it on a credit card. This was really repulsive to us. We believe that this would be man acting—not God. We have been married for 23 years and always lived by the principle that we will live within our means and borrowed only to buy our house. It’s our policy not to use credit cards. When we were first married, my dad gave us advice: don’t ever want something so bad that you have to have it. It’s a dangerous place to be.”
Opening the Door
But for Gaylan and Roberta, their desire to adopt was becoming more oppressive, and they began praying that God would either remove this longing or provide for the adoption expenses. God answered their prayers. During this time, Gaylan and Roberta casually mentioned their desire to adopt to another couple and said that the cost was the only obstacle keeping them from moving forward. “A month later,” says Roberta, “they called and said they would like to give $15,000 toward adoption expenses. We knew instantly that God was opening the doors for us to adopt.”
Letters
While Gaylan and Roberta decided to move ahead with their plans to adopt through AAI’s Russia program, believing that God was calling them to step out in faith, they were also a little scared because they knew they couldn’t cover the full amount. “We wrote an initial letter announcing that we were adopting, sharing our hearts and our need for additional funds,” says Roberta. They sent this letter to family members, fellow church members, friends, and neighbors asking for contributions to be given to AAI or to them directly. They also used Christian Advocates for Adoption (CAFA) so that those who wanted a tax deduction could receive one. The money soon began to come in, although a little slower than they had hoped.
A Cheerful Giver
“We wanted the money to all be there right away, but it wasn’t,” says Roberta. “This kept us on our knees, and yet we had peace, too.” Gaylan and Roberta needed to take three trips to Russia to complete the adoption, and before every trip, they kept their circle of family and friends updated with a new letter. In this letter, Gaylan and Roberta quoted 2 Corinthians 9:7: “Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” Roberta says, “We shared this in our letter to let people know that it wasn’t about us. We weren’t looking to them but only to God. It was between God and them. This gave us peace, too. We just needed to be faithful in His calling to us and it was His problem to work in people’s hearts to give. Or maybe He would provide in some way and ‘do immeasurable more than all we ask or imagine’” (Ephesians 3:20).
Special Gifts
Roberta remembers trying to fund one trip in particular and wondering where the funds would come from to pay for it. “One day our caseworker, Annise, called and said we needed to pay for airline tickets,” says Roberta. “I was on the other end of the phone line pulling my hair and ended the conversation [by] saying, ‘We’ll figure something out.’” Gaylan and Roberta didn’t have a credit card, and no matter how Roberta added up the money from their savings book and their adoption CD that included donations from others, she was still over $500 short. “Then,” says Roberta, “our eight year old son, Ryan, walked in with the mail. There was a card with a check in it for $544.”
God also intervened to help Gaylan and Roberta afford their adoption through Shaohannah’s Hope, an organization founded by Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife, Mary Beth. The same day they received a letter in the mail saying they qualified for a $3,000 adoption assistance grant, they also received a letter saying that the foreign program fees were increasing by $3,000. “If it wasn’t for this grant,” says Roberta, “we would have had to come up with that much more.”
The Total Amount Received
It wasn’t unusual for Gaylan and Roberta to receive money through the mail. “After each [letter] update,” says Roberta, “more money came in.” And when their twelve month old daughter, Alyona, came home in early May of 2005, they received even more donations. By simply sending letter updates about the status of their daughter’s adoption and their financial situation to family and friends, these individuals collectively funded approximately 95% of Alyona’s adoption.
Asking for Help
When looking for ways to finance an adoption, many families are hesitant to ask for financial assistance from others. However, when they do ask for support, these same families are often surprised about the willingness of friends and family to provide for their needs. If you’re wondering about how to finance your adoption, Roberta says, “Wait until God gives you the green light. He will make it known to you. What God ordains, He pays for.”
God’s Timing
For families that are hesitant to ask others for support, Roberta says, “Just share your heart; then let go. God will surprise you!” Gaylan and Roberta also empathize with other couples who are waiting to become parents. “We had a hard time getting pregnant with each of our children,” says Roberta. “It was after six years of marriage that we finally had our first child. Then, when we did start the adoption process, it took two and a half years. We know what it means to wait. Be patient no matter what stage you’re in. Enjoy the journey. God’s timing is best.”
For More Information
To learn more about CAFA, Shaohannah’s Hope, as well as other organizations that can help you finance the adoption you have planned, please visit our Adoption Funding page.
