International Adoption
A Very Happy Ending
When Steve and Becky watch their four year old son, Sergei, motor around the driveway on his bicycle and listen as their daughter, Tatyana, chats incessantly like any two year old, it’s hard to believe that the children weren’t born in America and that they came home from Russia less than a year ago.
And as they find themselves trying to steal moments away from other things to take their children on laps around the neighborhood—Sergei on his bicycle and Tatyana in a stroller or wagon—it’s even harder to think back to the time when they wondered how parenthood would be possible for them at all.
Adoption
After struggling to conceive, Steve and Becky decided to pursue adoption and formally applied to AAI’s Russia program in November of 2005. “We decided that the Russian program offered us a great opportunity to adopt more than one child,” says Becky. However, at the time Steve and Becky turned in their application, AAI’s Russia program was still waiting to receive reaccreditation, which caused the program to slow down.
A Blessed Journey
Steve and Becky continued with the process, and by the time they had completed their home study, the Russia program was once again functioning at full capacity. This fortunate turn in the program’s status was the beginning of a very blessed adoption journey for Steve and Becky, as the path that they took to bring their children home lacked the bumps that many couples experience. “Everything moved very well for us the whole time,” says Steve. “Based on what I’ve read on adoption web sites, the ease of our adoption seems pretty unique.”
Learning Russian
Before traveling to Russia, Steve and Becky started to learn Russian in order to “get invested” in the adoption process, something that Steve and Becky recommend that other adoptive parents do as well. “We would advise you to start learning [Russian] early,” says Becky. “Even if you are planning to adopt younger children, they are familiar with the sounds of words, and we think it will help them feel more comfortable.” However, they also say that parents shouldn’t feel pressured to be able to speak the language perfectly. “We didn’t worry about being fluent,” says Steve. “We were learning to communicate basically with a four year old.”
Their basic understanding of the Russian language helped Steve and Becky immensely in bonding with their children in Russia. “Especially with Sergei having developed language skills, being able to speak a little Russian was helpful,” says Becky. “I think some of the best bonding time we spent in Russia was playing with some matching cards and getting him to tell me what the picture was.”
The First Trip
Steve and Becky were able to test their language skills on their first trip to Russia, which took place in late July of 2006. Becky says, “It was comforting to be able to read some signs and to ask simple questions.”
While Steve and Becky had prepared themselves well for traveling to Russia, they had no way to foresee how they would feel when they caught the first glimpse of their children’s home. “Seeing the orphanage for the first time was heartbreaking,” says Becky. “It looked like a big old warehouse. It was much better on the back side with the playground and quite comfortable inside.”
Meeting the Children
Soon after arriving at the orphanage, Steve and Becky met their children in person. Sergei spent most of the first visit with his parents watching them and playing with bubbles, but he soon became more comfortable with Steve and Becky and played catch with a beach ball with them. Becky says that Tatyana is more outgoing, and therefore she was more relaxed during their meetings. “At the end of the second day,” says Becky, “we had a tour of the orphanage. Sergei accompanied us, and we had time to play in the gym. That was the first time we saw him laugh and run like a little guy should.”
A Special Reminder
Before departing to return home and await the notification of their second trip, Steve and Becky gave a special gift to their children. “We left a fabric book with our pictures, pictures of the house, yard, and pets—a dog and cat—with descriptions in English and Russian about what the picture was,” says Becky.
When Steve and Becky returned to the orphanage in November of 2006, it was obvious to them that the book had served its purpose. “The staff at the orphanage must have showed it to Sergei because he was able to point to the pictures and say, ‘Momma,’ ‘Pappa,’ ‘nasha dome,’ ‘sabaka,’ etc.,” says Becky.
The Second Trip
Steve and Becky were forced to spend most of their second trip inside the hotel with their children because temperatures outdoors were below zero, but they soon found ways to enjoy this time indoors. “We made the most of it by walking down the halls and riding the glass elevator,” says Steve. Sergei also soon learned the observation deck at the Pur Novolok echoed really well, and he enjoyed making noise there. Tatyana, who had just learned to walk, enjoyed herself by exploring her newfound independence.
Moscow
In Moscow, the family was able to spend a little time outdoors. “We took time to walk down Old Arbat Street and to Red Square and the Kremlin,” says Steve. “The kids went with us, and Sergei walked almost the whole way. It was a long day because we took the longest route possible, but we had to have a picture in front of St. Basil’s.”
Coming Home
Steve and Becky returned home with Sergei and Tatyana on November 17, 2006. Sergei was four and Tatyana was sixteen months old at the time. After their arrival, Becky stayed home with the children for two months and then returned to work, enrolling Sergei and Tatyana in daycare. Becky says that this “has worked wonders with Sergei’s language and socialization.” Tatyana is also picking up new words at a rapid rate. “She has developed quite a vocabulary in the last couple of months,” says Becky.
Life Today
Overall, the children seem to have adjusted quite well. “Sergei has developed friendships with the kids at school and he enjoys swimming and riding his bike,” says Becky. “Tatyana is very busy around the house. Typical for her age, she is into everything.” While both children are shy around strangers, Becky says, “They seem to warm up quickly.”
Looking Back
When looking back upon the journey that brought their family together, Steve and Becky still feel blessed about the ease of their adoption. For other families considering adoption, Becky says, “There are always stories about how hard the process can be. We would like to say that sometimes everything comes together and the process can be very smooth. Every bump you encounter is really just one more story you are going to have to tell when you are finally home.”
For More Information
For more information on adopting from Russia, please see our Russia Adoption page.
