International Adoption
Family adopts special waiting child from China
There is a Chinese proverb that states, “An invisible red thread connects those destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break.” This is our red thread story.
My husband, Wayne, and I have two biological children—Cameron, who is eight and has normal hearing, and Anna, who is almost six and has moderate hearing loss bilaterally. Anna was diagnosed at birth by the newborn hearing screens and was fitted with her aids by 4 months. She was what opened our eyes to a beautiful little girl living thousands of miles from us in a whole other world.
Research
Wayne and I began researching adoption in January of 2005. There were so many choices and so many children available, we literally felt overwhelmed. We spent many nights searching the internet and looking for the child that would be perfect for us. Around the end of March, we found her on our adoption agency’s web site. I knew from the minute I saw her that she was meant to be our daughter. She was by first glance a healthy little girl. Then I noticed her right ear. Well, she didn’t really have one. She has what is known as aural atresia and microtia. She doesn’t have an ear canal or correctly formed outer ear. Hmmm…Wayne and I know a little something about ears and hearing loss. What better people to adopt this little girl! We had been caring for Anna and her hearing loss for five years—we were experts! We didn’t set out to find a child with hearing loss, but it just seemed that she fell into our laps. I knew there were deaf children available for adoption, but we weren’t sure that we wanted to adopt another child with hearing loss. Her misshaped ear didn’t mean she had hearing loss, but if she did, we knew that we would be ready.
Preparation
On June 16th, 2005, we received pre-approval from the Chinese government to adopt Lu Yin Gui, who from that point on would be known as Julia. Over the next few months there was preparing to be done. We had a ton of paperwork to put together for our dossier that would be sent to China. We needed to prepare our family for the addition of a new baby sister and prepare our home for a toddler!
Meeting Julia
We received our travel approval on November 14th and were boarding a plan to Beijing, China on the 26th. Beijing was a great city. We loved touring the ancient buildings, temples, and seeing the Great Wall of China. Great isn’t the word to describe it. It’s just amazing! We had a great time seeing so much history of the birth country of our new daughter. On the 30th, we got to meet Julia for the first time. I’ve had three moments in my life where my breath was taken away. The first being when I got married to the man of my dreams, the second when I gave birth to Cameron, and the third when Anna entered our lives. Here I was, thousands of miles from home, and it was happening again! Seeing this beautiful little girl walk up the steps to the Civil Affairs office just made me melt. It was like giving birth. There she was! The one I had cried over because we missed her 2nd birthday, the one I had fallen in love with over the past seven months….here she was, standing in front of me, looking so cautious. Wayne and I had seven long months to look at her picture and anticipate what this moment would be like. Julia had no idea what was in store.
Adjustment
I won’t lie…it was hard. Julia spent the first few nights crying and crying. She was grieving so hard for the loss of her foster mom that she had been living with since she had been found at the orphanage. It was hard to comfort her. Even being experienced parents, we struggled.
On December 11th we arrived to a bittersweet homecoming. While we were in China, Wayne’s dad had undergone a surgical procedure. When we landed in San Francisco we found out that Wayne’s dad had passed. We were hoping that he could have held on until we got to Michigan, but it wasn’t to be. Julia never got the chance to meet her Grandpa George. Within a few days of being in our house, Julia does some of the same things that Grandpa George did. The transition she’s made is amazing.
At Home
Julia is like every other normal American two year old. She loves to have her fingernails painted, she loves Cheerios and juice boxes, and she’s learned how to get a toy back from her older sister. It’s almost as if she’s been with us her entire life. We know that she has a long road ahead with many tests to come. We had a small struggle with insurance and so we have been delayed with getting an official diagnosis. From what I can tell, Julia seems to have normal hearing in her “good” ear and some hearing in her microtic ear. From what I’ve read on atresia/microtia, there is a hearing loss that occurs when a person doesn’t have an ear canal. We plan on doing an extensive evaluation this summer.
Julia has been such a blessing to all of us. I can’t imagine life without her. Some people are intimidated when they think about adopting a child with special needs, but there are many resources that can help. Don’t let fear stand in the way of bringing your child home!
More Information
If you’re interested in adopting a child with special needs, contact Adoption Associates, Inc. at 616.667.0921 or visit our waiting children page to view children who are currently available.
