The Waiting Families
"AAI always had our best interests in mind…"
Many families waited for accreditation to bring their children home, but what was it like? We interviewed Brent, adopting for the first time with his wife Mary Ellen, and Andrea, also adopting for the first time.
AAI: All of the Russia staff have appreciated your patience and understanding. It’s been a hard year for them, I know, but what was the wait like for you?
Brent: I would describe the wait much the same as I would describe the process of going through infertility, with many highs and many lows. When dealing with infertility, each month there is a new hope that this is finally our month, and when it does not happen, you are completely devastated. But, in the back of your mind, you are thinking, well at least we can try again next month. Each month that passed while awaiting accreditation brought back all those same feelings, except that we could not “try again;” all we can do is continue to wait. Kind of like a roller coaster ride.
Andrea: I ran the gamut of emotions waiting for the reaccreditation. I felt hopeful, frustrated, helpless and finally resigned. This whole process has put a new light on “Let go, let God” for me. I have always been very independent and self-sufficient. International adoption, at least for me, has not allowed me to be either in many respects. But now, things are looking up!
AAI: What was your relationship like with your consultant during this time?
Brent: We have developed a relationship that hinges on trust. That comes from being honest and being told everything that is known and not withholding information.
Andrea: Beth is just the best! Our personalities are very similar and we hit it off from the beginning. I know my ups and downs have been hard on her as well. No question has ever been too silly or unimportant and we’ve spent a good deal of time laughing through the good and the bad. My dealings have been with both her and Alla, and I trust them both completely. I find them both to be gracious, kind, and full of integrity.
AAI: Why did you stay with AAI instead of moving on to another agency?
Brent: It did cross our minds and we did look into it, but ultimately we realized the best course of action was to stay. There are a couple of reasons. First and foremost, we felt that AAI always had our best interests in mind. Their goal was our goal, to make us parents. When things do not go the way you want them to, people tend to blame others and it was difficult at first to not blame the agency. “Why aren’t they doing something, surely there must be something that can be done.” The meeting Alla held in November was a turning point. That showed us that AAI was doing all they could and that they cared about their clients and these children. That meeting helped me get a better understanding of the accreditation process and made me step back and looked at why (the delay was happening).
Andrea: I never considered going with another agency. In the beginning of my process, I researched agencies extensively and know I made the right choice with AAI.
AAI: How did you react when you heard the news that AAI was reaccredited?
Brent: I often thought how I would react leading up to that special day that it seemed surreal once it finally happened.
Andrea: At first I screamed “NO WAY!!!!!” in Beth’s ear. Then, I did a little dance. After we got off the phone I burned up the lines telling everyone I knew!! Most people didn’t get the importance of the moment, but unless you go through this process yourself, it’s hard to understand. There was a week of celebration!
